U.S.—President Donald Trump made history once again today after being acquitted in his second Senate impeachment trial. He is now the most acquitted president in American history.
Donald Trump issued a statement regarding this incredible honor.
"I have been completely and totally cleared of all wrongdoing in this pathetic witchhunt sham impeachment trial," said Trump. "I am now the most acquitted president ever -- even more than Clinton. No president has ever been acquitted more than I have. Will I get the credit? Probably not, because of the fake news media. I am looking forward to continuing our MAGA movement together for many more acquittals to come!"According to sources, Republican Senators cheered and high-fived each other, knowing they had just outsmarted all the Democrats into bestowing such an unprecedented badge of honor on the former president.
"Oh no! What have we done?!" wailed Senator Amy Klobuchar, suddenly realizing the Senate had given Trump yet another impressive world record, making him the subject of trivia questions for the next two centuries.
According to sources, Clinton will be handing over his giant gold "most acquitted ever" trophy to Trump in Mar-a-Lago next week.
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