...

Doctor: "What about your husband, has he experienced any side effects?"

Which is ridiculous because I don't have a wife.

And some other stuff.

I prefer to call it changing your ringtone.

Unfortunately, he has lost his case.

I would say, "Not very good at maths".

Note: This tendency is inversely proportional to the importance of the now missing part.

That should be considered a universal lw.

Agree, in fact, it may be contained in the very, very fine print in Murphy's Law, possibly printed on the edges of the pages.

They either cling, run, or don't fit in the crotch.

I caught him playing with the neighbour's daughter.

Don't be too harsh on them, they're bound to be curious about sex.

Curious about sex? He's taken her appendix out!

I want to buy it, son.

And when you buy horses, you have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape.

I think the mailman wants to buy Mother.

Husband: Darling, I'd have married you no matter who left you a fortune.

Thanks Gene!

His real name is Keith... but has an eye missing.