SPOKANE, WA—According to sources, local man Chet Anders is one of the few remaining humans on the planet who can boast perfect, unwavering ideological consistency in his politics and worldview over the entirety of his 37-year life. In separate and completely unrelated news, Chet also has no friends.

"Yeah, I have devoted my life to the study of political philosophy," said Anders to reporters. "I read a lot of books, so I guess you could say I really know what I'm talking about. I have never changed my mind on anything, ever. I refuse to be labelled by one political party. I'm too smart for that. My worldview defies labels due to it being so right all the time. And when you're always right, you never have to change your mind on anything."

Witnesses say he said some more things after that, but the reporter eventually just walked away, not being able to put up with his insufferable presence any longer.

"Yeah, It's lonely here in the realm of perfect ideological consistency," he said to no one in particular since no one was there.

According to sources, Anders is trying to form a club for people like him, who can boast perfect ideological consistency. Unfortunately, the club dissolved after the first meeting since no one really got along.

sounds like rayr

I knew you would say that. Lol!

It reminds me of the politics section at Cbid 98.2% of the time.

you know me too well, my friend.

But admit it...you saw it the way I did too.

The Babylon Bee guys understand. In a world where the mob in the mushy middle can't tell the difference between what's right and what's wrong, someone with any ideological consistency is like a space alien to them or something.

ray!
it's a mirror!

I'm guilty... I argue with RayRay 98.2 percent of the time...

Out of principle of course.

Always right, he had a home but we left...oh well.

Who are you kidding? You have no principles.[-x