HEADLINE: FISHY BIRD-FLU ADVICE

BYLINE: Andy Geller

BODY:

Uncle Sam is advising people to store canned tuna and powdered milk under their beds to be ready for an avian-flu outbreak.

"What we're talking about here is preparedness, and preparedness saves lives," said Secretary of Health and Human Services Michael Leavitt, who made the recommendation over the weekend in Cheyenne, Wyo.

Addressing the Wyoming Pandemic Flu Summit, the nation's health chief said, "When you go to the store and buy three cans of tuna fish, buy a fourth and put it under the bed. When you go to the store to buy milk, buy powdered milk and put that under the bed."

Leavitt also said people should try to accumulate up to a six-week supply of food, water, medicine and other essentials.

Preparations should be no different than for a two-week blizzard.

"It's just a good idea," Leavitt said. "It's called self-reliance."

His advice recalls a February 2003 recommendation from ex-Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge: Buy duct tape to seal up your home in the event of a chemical or biological strike.

The recommendation sparked a run on duct tape, but it was rescinded in a week after critics, such as Mayor Bloomberg, called it "preposterous."

For God's sake, can't people be self reliant?

Does Uncle phuckin' Sammy have to hold everyone's hand?

I wish the government would do LESS.

MACS - less government would be good.

Why tuna though? Does Cheney own stock in it?

But I like Tuna.

How long will a couple of family size boxes of Popeyes chicken last in my freezer?

Throw in some potato wedges too!!

Ever wonder if there'll be a dropoff of business at KFC and Popeyes after the first case is reported in the USA?

I think so.

However, a case of Mad Cow Disease was found in Alabama this week.

I'm going to load the jacuzzi with pickled herring (Andy have any pickled eggs left?). Store up plenty of Belgian ales (no need for refrigeration) and ductape the windows and doors closed. Then I will be safe.