"Joey Buttafuoco, who gained notoriety in the 1990s when his teenage girlfriend shot his wife in the face in New York, was sentenced to a year in jail Tuesday after pleading no contest to possessing ammunition as a felon."

I don't really have a point here. I just like saying Buttafuoco!

Wasabi!

Waaaaasaaaaaaaaaaaaabi!

Does your office assistant know that you're kind of a kook?

Yup...That's prolly why she quit.

Actually, I could only keep her busy (and paid) part-time, splitting my time between two offices. Worked with her at a small firm before, and she's a good worker. We got along well, and I was glad to help (she's a single mom). She got a full-time job, and I was happy for her (first time she'll have real health insurance in quite a while), but that cut her down to one weekend day a week for me. I moved one of my offices, taking it from about two miles away from her to about 30 (now about 2 miles from me). Not worth the $ for her to go that far. So, it's just me...I type 75-80 wpm, and I'm used to 60+ hour work weeks.

At least that's what I told the cops. I have NO idea where the four dozen **** found in her upper right desk drawer came from. What? What's a restraining order? Do I need an attorney?

That was too funny!

Open an office in Minnesota, would ya'? I need to work for someone who is a little bent. There is even an island for sale here in town. No Cinnabon, though.

Sorry, some deal breakers lurking there. I'd have to sit for another bar exam. I'd rather have surgery to get pregnant and give birth to quints than have to sit through another bar exam. Also, I'm not big on the cold. In my lifetime, Seattle has never hit zero degrees, and single digits are rare. Most winters around the Puget Sound, it rarely even gets into the teens, and when it does, it's big news. Lastly, I passed a "little" bent years ago. I'm more like severely bent, probably ought to be totaled and parted out.

Oh, and no Cinnabon, I ain't coming no matter what. Man, what were you people, raised by wolves or something? No Cinnabon? Jeepers, do you at least have running water and indoor plumbing?

rg, re bent, go to

http://www.cigarbid.com/auction/forum/forum.cfm?action=list&forumID=9&messageDisplay=0000000065947 

Esp. section 12. And that was just what I could hammer out off the top of my head.

I think there is probably something wrong with me. I can remember telephone numbers I haven't called in decades. I wake my wife up with questions like "If you fart in a tanning bed, will you blow up?" and "Do you think Mr. Rogers ever, just once in his life, yelled 'f*ck' after stubbing his toe?" Usually she just sighs and goes back to sleep. Some times she punches me, though.

not sure that I blame her - for punching you - go girl!

c3s

Yeah, you get even one married woman on the jury, they'd never convict her.

LMAO!

Aw, ya' big sissy! It doesn't get painfully cold here for more that a week or two in the dead of winter. And like I told 8track, its a dry cold.

I like bent. My dad was a prison guard for 25 years +/-, and I have been dealing with medical professionals, morticians and cops since I was 16 and started working. My sense of humor is a bit unfortunate at times. I'd probably fit right in at the County Coroner's office.

As for the Cinnabon thing, that's an easy fix. They are plentiful in the Twin Cities area, the closest being about 45 minutes from here. That's where all the action is, anyway.

I've met plenty of prison guards and jail officers with a sense of humor. I figure if you don't have one, you better develop one, because it ain't exactly a party in there. Always cracks me up a little when someone says "I don't want to go to jail". Well, gee, I think that's kind of the idea.

Dry cold? As in dry ice? I suppose you can use the time to defrost your freezer, but I'm not looking to stay anywhere where the temp has a minus sign in front of it. And 45 minutes to get a Cinnabon? They'd be gone by the time I got home, and my steering wheel would be coated in sugar!

You can't blame a girl for trying. I guess I am going to have to start hanging out in those seedy attorney bars.

"Hey Counselor, are you looking for a paralegal? I can do it all; civil litigation, bankruptcy, contracts . . .everything. You won't be disappointed."

Either that or the ER. "Did someone hit you? Was it their fault? Can you hold my business card in your teeth?"