1. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
2. I'm bored - let's have sex!
3. Wouldn't you rather be down at the bar with your buddies?
4. WOW - that was a great fart - do it again!
5. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
6. You're so sexy when you're hungover.
7. I'd rather watch the game and drink beer with you than go shopping.
8. OH - let's not forget to renew our subscription to Hustler.
9. Have I shown you the pictures of me and my girlfriend?
10. That's ok - I'll cut the grass this weekend.
11. I love it when you play golf on Sundays ... I wish you had time to play on Saturday as well.
12. Honey, the neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, hurry quickly or you may miss it.
13. Can I take the car in for an oil change?
14. Your mother is much more fun than mine.
15. Is it ok if we get some beer, do some shots, and invite my girlfriend Tammy over for the night?
16. Oh, not the mall again ... why don't we check out that new strip-joint on the other side of town.
17. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us. Why don't you retire early and work on getting your handicap down to 7 or 8.
18. I signed up for yoga so that I can learn to get my ankles behind my head just for you.
19. Are you sure you don't want to have sex again today?
20. I understand fully ... our anniversary comes every year, you go hunting with the guys ... it's a wonderful stress reliever.

ROFLMAS!!

KC

#4 really got me 🙂

KC

LOL !!

Wife's don't say those things??? Remind me not to get married!

You left off:

Here you go honey, take my high limit credit card that I've been saving for a rainy day...go use it on what ever you want on that cbid thingy...oh, and by me some too...let's smoke them in the bedroom...

heh, actually, my wife doesn't mind if I smoke a cigar in the bedroom. As long as the windows are open and the weather is nice. Of course, this was "PB" Pre-baby... I may be "PB" Permanently Banished to the porch from now on...

She’s also pretty good about not b!tching about cbid. We reached an agreement. I get 60 bux a week to do with as I please. I can go out and have beers, play poker with the boys, or scope out deals on cigarbid. I’ve been doing the later and laying up stores for 2 years out (aging) like the box of Classico Belis I just got today. An occasional 5 pack of something to try, and I’m happy as a pig.

Not too many good women out there like her (or you Marla).

: )

: )

If there were, I'd probably be married.

#7 is something mine DOES say ...

She may or may not say...

Yes honey, I am just as hot for E-Chick as you are. Lets have her over for some fun tonight.

: )

Things she'll never say

"You're right" and "I'm wrong"
:)

Actually, I hear 2, 10, and 19 pretty often.

Yea, but what does she say when your awake?

















Sorry, too good an opening to pass up.

25 Things Your Wife Is Unlikely To Say

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. I know I'm sore, and my parents are sleeping in the other room, I still want you right now!

3. This porno scene is boring, fast forward to the gang bang.

4. Don't get up, I kinda like sleeping in the wet spot

5. Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my blouse

6. That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch pornos again?

7. I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby sitter, Tracy.

8. You're my daddy, you're my daddy!

9. The new girl in my office used to be a stripper, so Iinvited her over for dinner on Friday.

10. Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one!

11. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

12. Bar food again!? Kick ass!

13. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your Ex-girlfriend really has class.

14. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am, Cool, I'm gonna go over

15. I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.

16. I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentines Day present, thanks "Poopy".

17. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

18. I've decided to buy myself a boob job, How big do you want 'em?

19. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

20. Honey come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass!

21. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

22. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

23. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars, scotch and morning breath. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya' big silly!

24. You are so much smarter than my father.

25. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch Sports Center.

Ok, I tried a few on Jimmy's list today...

4. WOW - that was a great fart - do it again...

It was huge, but there was hardly any reserves to replicate the first blowout...it was funny anyway and I blew him away...

So I then resorted to 19. Are you sure you don't want to have sex again today?

He had to go to work...oh well, he'll get off sooner or later!

; )~

... Marla -

... how many times does 4 go into 19 ... ?

Is that like how many times have you been eight?