I would like to personally thank everyone who sent their prayers and best wishes. It was a very difficult time. Without question, the most difficult week of my life.
My father is not doing well. He's going to need care, and my brother (God love him) is insisting that my father move in with him for the time being (next several years) and that may be all the time he has.
He has some issues with his memory as I'd alluded. When I arrived Sunday morning (the 19th) everyone held each other and wept for my mother. Then Saturday morning, I went in to wake my dad to take him to dialysis. When he woke up, he smiled at me and said, “hey son, good morning, where’s your mother?” I held him and quietly explained that she passed away the other day and she’s in heaven with God. He broke down. It was as if he was just getting the news for the first time. This happened repeatedly, perhaps 6 times throughout the week. This aspect was what made it almost impossible to bear, the “re-grieving” as it was dubbed.
That combined with the arduous task of going through all of the files and documents and finding things not seen for 30 years. Pictures of my mother receiving awards at work, report cards she had saved from our youth, letters, etc… It was very emotional as I’m sure many can imagine, and many others have lived this.
It put a whole new perspective on life for me and it’s one I hope I can keep. Death of a loved one teaches those who remain the true value of life and I believe, the true meaning of life. That being that we love each other, that we learn to let bygones be bygones and learn how to forgive, especially those close to us or those who should be. That each day is a gift and we should enjoy it. That when we’re gone, the true measure of the life we’ve lived is the way in which we are remembered, not what we obtained, not what we attained, not what we accomplished, but rather the love and sense of loss reflected in the eyes of those who mourn our passing.
Well, I’m rambling now, I didn’t mean to, but I do sincerely thank from the bottom of my heart all who’ve prayed for me. I needed it, I felt it, and I thank you.
Robby.
