I'm sure this has been posted before ... but I thought I'd post it again (if it has) ...

... if for nothing more than to give Rickamaven a chuckle ...

George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW
Washington, D.C. 20500

Past Work Experience

Ran for congress and lost.
Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
With father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments in Previous Positions

Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

Set record for most executions by any governor in American history.

Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments As President

Attacked and took over two countries.
Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
First president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in U.S. history.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
Set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other president in U.S. history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in U.S. history.
Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in U.S. history.
Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in U.S. history.
Presided over the biggest energy crises in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
Presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
Dissolved more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.
My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S. history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history (the 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleezza Rice, has an Exxon oil tanker named after her).
First president in U.S. history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
First president in U.S. history to order a U.S. attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in U.S. history.
First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the human rights commission.
First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the elections monitoring board.
Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in U.S. history.
Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
Refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
First president in U.S. history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. elections).
All-time U.S. (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
My biggest lifetime campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in U.S. history.
First president in U.S. history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
First president to run and hide when the U.S. came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
First U.S. president to establish a secret shadow government.
Took the biggest world sympathy for the U.S. after 9/11, and in less than a year made the U.S. the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in U.S. and world history).
With a policy of 'disengagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
Fist U.S. president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
First U.S. president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the U.S. than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated U.S. law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive.'
Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capital building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in U.S. history.
In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the U.S. has ever been since the Civil War.
Entered office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.
Records and References

At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available)
AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.
Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (they can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)
Source: Kelley Kramer

Yo Slim: Who 's Kelley Kramer, any relationship to Kramer on Sienfeld ? At least you answered one question for me, why Rick hates President Bush in such an insanely manner. GW wouldn't let Rick play the slasher in his movie. LOL JonR

"et tu slimboli?"

Slimboli

you litle devil, hiding in the wings, and watching toubled souls, including me, fight and bicker and call each other names, all the while holding 4 aces against three of a kind.

your post will be printed and i will read it every day to remind byself why you are the true sage of these boards.

Yo Rick: Can you suck-up anymore ? LOL JonR

Slimboli, part of "the evil rich"... Just ask that dirt bag, Mr. F'ing Kerry. Where does he cut it off anyway? I hear he and the Dems talk about the evil rich, and the "middle class" who they pander to. They want to take money from the evil rich and give it to the middle class, but what about the poor? They need money? So we'll take it from the rich, and give it to the mids and the poor. Ok, OH **** we're out of Rich... Oh well, let's just adjust the parameters a bit... THERE! THAT'S BETTER! Slim? Better get used to that name, cause you're John F'ing wallet is about to be "Slim"... LOL!

Slim, I found your post spellbinding, but we all knew that Dubya was an elitist mediocrity.

I'm sure that someone with time on their hands can find even more on that other epitome of mediocre elitism from the left ("Kerry Forbes"),who has never been anything but a 215 pound bureaucratic paperweight.

Funny, how you and your fellow left-leaning, soul-mate,"lover of mankind" can enjoy $32 cigars without a twitch from your consciences, while some of us greedy, unfeeling, paleo-conservatives would rather smoke 'em cheap & give the difference to charity.

Ironic, isn't it?

perplexed blood

;-(

Yo bloody spaniard: Who says politics can't unite the masses. Two peas in a pod, 32 dollar a cigar Slim and 15 bad frogs for a dollar Rickamaven. LoL JonR

Robby

"Just ask that dirt bag, Mr. F'ing Kerry"

you've convinced me that you have a handle on reality.

JonR

you don't like what we smoke? tough.

"you don't like what we smoke? tough."


Sorry Rick, but every time you say something like that, I think of Little Caesar (Edward G. Robinson)--"Is this the end of Ricko?".

And, I can thank JonR for that. YEAH, SEE...I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU GOOD, SEE...

blood

Hmmmm. You can afford a second home. I can afford a new camper. The majority of people frequenting this forum can afford the small luxury of cigars. Yet your post claims the economy is terrible. Sorry, but the truth speaks for itself.

00camper

if you are refering to me, my mobile home was in 1969. i was 37 married with two kids and i worked on commission. and i worked a lot of hours.

in 1960, when i was the age of some of the guys on the boards,28, i was living in a little house in a cheap end of LA paying $60.00 a month rent. the house had no heat except for gas jets that i was afraid to lite.

i never let the economy decide how i was going to live. i just worked more hours and more days.

bloody spaniard

"top of the world, ma. top of the world"

RICKAMAVEN,
I was actually refering to Slimboli's second home.

Marty, Slim appears to be a limousine liberal who wants a rich socialist for President.

Rick is ehrrr, well I'm not sure what he is...

blood

I own 1 home, 2 cars and 3 humidors on a military salary. You just gotta budget and tell your wife to work too 🙂.

My bonus will come when I retire, collect my pension at 38 and get another job using my Anti-terrorism/ Force protection training in this new world we live in...

bloody spaniard

"Rick is ehrrr, well I'm not sure what he is..."

it's between me and my god.

"President Bush has no real economic plan for long-term prosperity and higher standards of living. I do, and at its heart is a strategy to create 10 million new jobs in the first term of a Kerry administration,"
- Senator John Kerry

While on the topic of resumes and as part of my continuing research into John Kerry and why I should vote for him, can anyone research his resume and identify whether he has ever held a full-time job in the private sector? Any job in the private sector will do, even McDonalds frycook is fine.

So far my efforts to draw up positive reasons to vote for John Kerry have been disappointing. All I've got so far is that "Bush is bad, Kerry is not Bush" and "vote for the party not the man."

Are there any positive things to be said about Kerry other than he is not President George W. Bush?

Thank you HockeyDad!