Some Thursday Jokes
A young teenage girl was making a living as a prostitute and for obvious reasons she kept it a secret from her grandma.
One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.
Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.
"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck em dry!"
My mum and dad were dwarfs...
All their lives they struggled to put food on the table.
A man is walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.
"Twenty bucks," she says. He'd never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell it's only twenty bucks.
They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them it's a police officer.
"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.
"I'm making love to my wife," the man answers indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."
"Well," said the man, "neither did I until you shined that light in her face."
A man walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.
He is shown several possibilities that range from £250 to £500 in price. The more sheer the negligee, the higher the price.
Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the £500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.
Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on."
So, she decided she would do the modelling naked, return the negligee the following day, and keep the £500 refund for herself.
She appears naked on the stair landing and strikes a pose. The husband says, "Bloody Hell! You'd think for £500, they'd at least iron it."
Have a good one. 🌫 🍺
