More and more corporations are requiring their employees to be less white, in an attempt to stop racism forever. But it's hard to know how to do that, since at first blush, that SEEMS really racist and impossible. But it's not. It's actually really easy if you follow these seven simple steps:

1. Burn all your Live, Laugh, Love signs. This is the first step to renouncing whiteness. Find every last "Live, Laugh, Love" sign in your home, every "Too Blessed To Be Stressed" trinket, and every "All I Need Is A Little Bit Of Coffee And A Whole Lot Of Jesus" mug and burn them as you think about your inherently sinful whiteness.

2. Rip off your skin. This is an easy one!

3. Kill yourself. Even easier! For best results, rip off your skin, then kill yourself.

4. Announce that you identify as a person of color. Wait, never mind. This one might be cultural appropriation. You also might be mistaken for a conservative trying to come up with a third joke.

5. Throw out all your ranch dressing. Ranch dressing, mayo -- it's all gotta go.

6. Take dance classes. This is a hard step, but it's worth it. As you learn to dance to a beat, your whiteness will begin to melt away.

7. Hate yourself every waking moment until you have sufficiently atoned for your whiteness. Oops! Spoiler alert: you'll never sufficiently atone for your whiteness. Better go back to step 3.

There you go! Racism ended forever!

As long as I don't have to throw out my Blue Cheese Dressing, I'm OK..

So much for teaching the world to sing in perfect harmony.

Don’t snort Coke, smoke crack.

how about if white people tell cops it's OK to treat people of color like they're white people

I would have guessed “get a tan” would have been in the top 3....

Can't we just identify as something else and it all goes away.

That sh*t is disgusting... and I like cheese, just not that kind. Feta for the win.

How about people get judged and treated by the content of their character? Ya know cops treat people based on their attitudes in the majority of cases, right?

Some of the stuff you say makes me wonder about you...

Disgusting? Where is your taste in the finer things in life?
Up here in chicken wing and chicken finger country, blue cheese dressing is a condiment necessity.
Peoples even put it on pizza sometimes.
Even black folks do, so it's not racist.

dermal appropriation outrage!

so...that was worse than;


2. Rip off your skin. This is an easy one!

3. Kill yourself. Even easier! For best results, rip off your skin, then kill yourself.


kinda got the impression this was sposda be a humorous thread...

would it have been funny if a white person had posted it?

OK., MACS.....now I'm a little worried...

I thought my premise that white people control cops and can tell them what to do was so absurd as to be farcical...am I wrong...

What color of spray paint would you like, plus flat, gloss,semi-gloss?
Maybe neon...

It was, and I found it humorous. You say this type of thing in other threads, too... so I wasn't sure.

Burn all your Beatles and tragically hip records....
Put Ashford and Simpson on a continuous cassette loop.

I don't own any Beatles records. Never saw the fascination with them... they sucked.

Led Zeppelin and the Rolling Stones were leaps and bounds better at every position.

OK, you've got better taste in music, I'm with you brother, even if you don't like blue cheese dressing.

When my brother got taken down by a half dozen state troopers I kept thinking: If only he were black we could blame that instead of his behavior.

I am having major "saltine" regret and guilt....

N.O.T.

BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!