Oh man,
If we counting close calls I need to go get all the neighbors and have em all take off their shoes so I'll have enough toes to count.
Lets see, there was this fat girl I almost married that I never met.
This one time I woke up with a goat trying to get in my bed.
Then there was this time I almost picked up a girl at the gym and come to find out it was just Victor waiting on a towel. That was a bad one