hey billg,
I have this friend from high school named Jon.
One time, he decided he was going to go snowboarding. We lived in Florida, mind you.
So Jon cut piece of plywood into a snowboard shape, then screwed some gate handles or something to it; bending the screws over on the back where they poked through.
He then put on a wetsuit , grabbed his snowboard, and drove north from FL until he found a ski resort.
After several minutes of convulsive laughter from the lift-ticket clerk, he was told he would not be able to use his device on their slopes because it appeared too dangerous.
Jon did **** like this all the time.
I think you and Jon would get along pretty well.