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Last post 17 months ago by Palama. 194 replies replies.
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Dear Chief
ScottHar Offline
#151 Posted:
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
Dear Chief--

A very sexy younger woman I work with asked if she could take me across the street after work, buy me a drink, and ask me some professional advice on some career issues she's facing.

I'm happily married so this is obviously a TERRIBLE idea and there's no way I could say yes to this sort of invitation. But what if we went to a bar farther away from the office?

ScottHar
DrafterX Offline
#152 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,588
^ parking garage....
ScottHar Offline
#153 Posted:
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
[need an answer in the next 3 hours or...]

ScottHar
pacman357 Offline
#154 Posted:
Joined: 02-27-2006
Posts: 42,596
#151 Funny. No, have her meet you at the nearest courthouse. Whatever temptations find you will soon dissipate as you sit there, contemplating how much a divorce would cost you, and how much you'd miss your stuff.
big chief Offline
#155 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
#151, scotthar,

Chief won't re-hash you question. You already know the answer, or you wouldn't have asked in the first place.
Chief could offer a number of anectdotes about the wacky dangers of having girlfriends whilst married--and the unimaginable **** that can happen--but he will refrain.
Trust me when I advise that young women who want to 'talk' to you after work over a drink have ulterior motives.
Trust me also when I advise that, if your marriage is sour, you DO NOT WANT IT TO GO COMPLETELY SOUTH OVER A YOUNG FEMALE.
Wives do not like this stuff. I know, and this is the voice of heap experience.
ScottHar Offline
#156 Posted:
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
^As usual, Chief: Good advice for a bad question.

Thanks!

ScottHar
fishinguitarman Offline
#157 Posted:
Joined: 07-29-2006
Posts: 69,152
Dear Chief:

How do I get the hair from growing so rapidly in my ears and nose?
big chief Offline
#158 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
FishingGuitarMan asks: 'Chief, how get hair growth in nose and ears to slow down?'

Chief has this same problem, and understands these issues. Sometimes Chief wonders if someone isn't putting Miracle Grow on parts of head at night--especially on eyebrows, where 2 1/2" hairs have been known to sprout out of nowhere.
FGM, Chief will take wild guess on how to stop this stuff: Testicle-rone is widely believed to be at the root of male hair growth, so you may wish to simply cut off the source of this hormone through a simple castration procedure.
Now, it is heap important to understand that no one has yet proven this will stop Male Unwanted Hair (MUH!), but if you desperate, it might be worth a try...
Personally, Chief prefers to remove hair the old fashioned way: grab wads of nose-hair with fingers, and pull hard. Repeat as necessary.
ScottHar Offline
#159 Posted:
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
Dear Chief--

I just read that a bunch of construction workers in Oregon complained to police that an attractive young lady was skating around nude -- and they were bothered by this.

http://www.cigarbid.com/...geDisplay=0000000223931

Question: I... I just... I mean, I don't think I could work with guys who called the police to complain about a nude chick. So I guess my question is WTF? Forget Obama vs. McCain, isn't this country in deeper trouble than any of us suspected?

ScottHar
big chief Offline
#160 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
Poster ScottHar asks '...is country in heap poo-poo...'


Dear Scott,

Chief is forced to assume that those construction workers were gay, or squaws dressed as men (in order to get some prevailing wage money).
No healthy male avoids looking at nekkid squaw. Other
possibility is that nekkid squaw was so heap ugly that the view was offensive.

Chief unable to open article on cheerleaders, so again, must make assumption. To wit, heap squaws in audience angry because their men were looking at cheerleaders instead of them selves--jealous squaws!

But Chief digresses. You ask if world is going to hell in handbasket, and the answer is...(drumroll)


Yes! Heap yes!

The feminization of America began to really roll in the late 1970's, and U.S. go downhill ever since.
Chief suggest you seek local chapter of M.A.C.H.O. club, and join. Heap therapeutic...
DrafterX Offline
#161 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,588
^ Is that the 'He-man woman haters club'?
big chief Offline
#162 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
MACHO=Men Against Changing the Human Order
engletl Offline
#163 Posted:
Joined: 12-26-2000
Posts: 26,493
Dear Chief...

I have a simple question today...

WTF happened to the CBid Fiver????

Sincerely paleface purveyor of fake power beads
big chief Offline
#164 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
Thank you, TL--I thought about it too the other day--Chief will start thread.
ScottHar Offline
#165 Posted:
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
Dear Chief--

I work in a fairly casual office (khakis, shirts with collars, no ties, occasional sneakers, etc.), but there's a guy I work with who wears shorts every day.

I realize there are some places where this would be totally acceptable attire -- but this isn't one of them. I told him this in a friendly way a couple of months ago, and he told me he wasn't going to dress to please anyone but himself -- that his "talent" (cough, cough) was sufficient to earn him promotions up the corporate ladder.

He's on drugs, right?

ScottHar

P.S. Why does my Ford Explorer's steering column make that noise when I'm slowing down?
engletl Offline
#166 Posted:
Joined: 12-26-2000
Posts: 26,493
he is on drugs if he shaves his legs...LOL
big chief Offline
#167 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
Poster ScottHar inquires if shorts are suitable attire for a (presumably) professional office environment...

Chief opines that, no, absolutely heap no--shorts are not 'professional', they are 'casual/sport/liesure'.

If you are this employee's superior, then it is certainly appropriate to lay down law. If not, then you may wish to sound out his boss to see how he views this display of inappropriate attire.

And you may solve you steering wheel noise issue by simply never slowing down--just keep going.
lou2row Offline
#168 Posted:
Joined: 12-22-2006
Posts: 9,995
#165 Check front end alignment.
Explorer, not co worker.
grmcooper Offline
#169 Posted:
Joined: 10-10-2006
Posts: 20,430
To the top!
JadeRose Offline
#170 Posted:
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
RIP Chief. You are sorely missed.
itsawaldo Offline
#171 Posted:
Joined: 09-10-2006
Posts: 4,221
Thanks for bringing this one to the top, I read through and laughed all the way.
Rest in peace Chief.
ZRX1200 Offline
#172 Posted:
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,662
Miss him.
Whistlebritches Offline
#173 Posted:
Joined: 04-23-2006
Posts: 22,128
I always have to read the entire thing.........A few tears of laughter and a few tears of sorrow.




We miss you Big Chief.Rest in Peace Brother.


Ron
coolbreeze68 Offline
#174 Posted:
Joined: 02-02-2010
Posts: 3,665
Classic!!!!

RIP
engletl Offline
#175 Posted:
Joined: 12-26-2000
Posts: 26,493
RIP my friend!
Gene363 Offline
#176 Posted:
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,874
RIP friend.
jackconrad Offline
#177 Posted:
Joined: 06-09-2003
Posts: 67,461
YEP...
thurson Offline
#178 Posted:
Joined: 06-26-2004
Posts: 3,919
Whistlebritches wrote:
I always have to read the entire thing.........A few tears of laughter and a few tears of sorrow.




We miss you Big Chief.Rest in Peace Brother.


Ron


+ 1

RIP Big Chief.
lou2row Offline
#179 Posted:
Joined: 12-22-2006
Posts: 9,995
I miss the old wise one.

Funny; as popular as this thread was, it could not withstand the powers of the threadkiller.
Whistlebritches Offline
#180 Posted:
Joined: 04-23-2006
Posts: 22,128
lou2row wrote:
I miss the old wise one.

Funny; as popular as this thread was, it could not withstand the powers of the threadkiller.



Being a little hard on yourself there Lou.


Ron
DrafterX Offline
#181 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,588
Sad
grmcooper Offline
#182 Posted:
Joined: 10-10-2006
Posts: 20,430
Classic
teedubbya Offline
#183 Posted:
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
RIP Womp Big Missed
Gene363 Offline
#184 Posted:
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,874
Sigh, yup. Sad
Speyside Offline
#185 Posted:
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
First time I've seen this, I laughed till I cried. Big Chief seemed bigger than most. I did not know him, but wished I did.
Palama Offline
#186 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,819
Topped with mixed feelings. Very mixed feelings.

DrMaddVibe Offline
#187 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,556
engletl wrote:
Dear Chief...



I have a simple question today...



WTF happened to the CBid Fiver????



Sincerely paleface purveyor of fake power beads


It was sent to the Mothership and framed.
DrafterX Offline
#188 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,588
Sad
Gene363 Offline
#189 Posted:
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,874
RIP Big Chief Sad
Palama Offline
#190 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,819
I know it’s tough for the FOGs to see some of Big Chief’s threads and posts. I struggled with whether or not to top this but in the end, I felt I would be honoring his memory by bringing this back for others to read and hopefully laugh.
DrMaddVibe Offline
#191 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,556
Palama wrote:
I know it’s tough for the FOGs to see some of Big Chief’s threads and posts. I struggled with whether or not to top this but in the end, I felt I would be honoring his memory by bringing this back for others to read and hopefully laugh.



Please...don't apologize for it. EVER.

The guy was a legend. He was here. He mattered. We cried with his passing.

Your mileage may vary. You did good.
Palama Offline
#192 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,819
DrMaddVibe wrote:
Please...don't apologize for it. EVER.

The guy was a legend. He was here. He mattered. We cried with his passing.

Your mileage may vary. You did good.


Herfing

Thanks!
DrMaddVibe Offline
#193 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,556
Palama wrote:
Herfing

Thanks!


I was really going to post this:

https://youtu.be/4MsWTb5c-Sw

From one of my personal Top 10 films of all-time by one of my all-time personal people to ever live...BUT...I didn't know if you would understand it or if you ever saw the film. It has some funny moments, but this is Bill Murray like you might not have ever seen him. It's a raw film that he pressured the studio to make personally. I watch it about once a year.

So, with that said...he will not be missed. Did you ever see some of the stuff he posted? Made me sick. Sick from laughing but I still was sick. There will be no tears for a guy like that as he didn't want them to begin with.

Angel

PS: He actually said those lines at John Belushi's eulogy first.
Palama Offline
#194 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,819
DrMaddVibe wrote:
I was really going to post this:

https://youtu.be/4MsWTb5c-Sw

From one of my personal Top 10 films of all-time by one of my all-time personal people to ever live...BUT...I didn't know if you would understand it or if you ever saw the film. It has some funny moments, but this is Bill Murray like you might not have ever seen him. It's a raw film that he pressured the studio to make personally. I watch it about once a year.

So, with that said...he will not be missed. Did you ever see some of the stuff he posted? Made me sick. Sick from laughing but I still was sick. There will be no tears for a guy like that as he didn't want them to begin with.

Angel

PS: He actually said those lines at John Belushi's eulogy first.


Never saw the movie but I need to watch it.
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