Gene363
3 years ago

I used to sell security systems door to door. If no one was home I left a brochure on the kitchen table.

Krazeehorse wrote:




Rimshot! 🍺
Krazeehorse
3 years ago
For me, May 5th is truly a day to celebrate.

Few people have come to know the “true” story of the origin of May 5th. It is my pleasure to set the record straight.

A little known fact is that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York.

The ship hit an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5 and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

Go out on this day, grab a couple of slices of bread and a jar of Hellman’s mayonnaise and have a party. You know I will!
DrMaddVibe
3 years ago
Steven Wright — 'I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.'

I know you read that the way he talks.
Gene363
3 years ago

For me, May 5th is truly a day to celebrate.

Few people have come to know the “true” story of the origin of May 5th. It is my pleasure to set the record straight.

A little known fact is that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York.

The ship hit an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5 and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

Go out on this day, grab a couple of slices of bread and a jar of Hellman’s mayonnaise and have a party. You know I will!

Krazeehorse wrote:



Oh the samiches!
clintCigar
3 years ago
Its May 4th 😂
Gene363
3 years ago
DrafterX
3 years ago
I had a salad... 😟
Burner02
3 years ago
Imagine the disappointment if a wolf knew his descendent would be a poodle.....

That's how your grandfather feels when he sees your man bun.
Krazeehorse
3 years ago
A little girl asks her mother "what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's belly last night?"
"Well that bouncing keeps your daddy's belly skinny"
I"It's not going to work replies the little girl"
"And why is that" asks her mother.
"Because the baby sitter keeps blowing him up!!
Gene363
3 years ago
😂 😂 😂 Classic!
Gene363
3 years ago
I googled a few baby sitter jokes...

When does a woman get along with her in-laws? If she can't find a babysitter.

When your young, your parents tell you what time you need to be home. When you grow up and get married, the babysitter tells you.

A babysitter is required to act like an adult so the parents can go out and act like teenagers.


Gene363
3 years ago
From Jolly Good Jokes

My new girlfriend's car got a flat tire as we were on our way to see my
parents, so I called them up and said "Sorry Mom, I'm going to be late, my
girlfriend's got a puncture".

"Oh John!" she sighed "I thought you had a real one this time."
Krazeehorse
Krazeehorse
3 years ago
Check out Big Jay Oakerson on YouTube. Definitely NSFW. Vulgar even by my standards but I still laugh.
Gene363
3 years ago

Check out Big Jay Oakerson on YouTube. Definitely NSFW. Vulgar even by my standards but I still laugh.

Krazeehorse wrote:





Yes, Vegas F'ing and fun girl drunk. =d> =d> =d>
Krazeehorse
3 years ago
Day late. Sorry!

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home, reminiscing.
The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for one penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for one penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about."
Gene363
3 years ago
MACS
3 years ago
The sexual position formerly known as 69 will now be called 96.

Inflation has really raised the cost of eating out.


o:)
Gene363
3 years ago

The sexual position formerly known as 69 will now be called 96.

Inflation has really raised the cost of eating out.


o:)

MACS wrote:




Rimshot!
MACS
3 years ago

Rimshot!

Gene363 wrote:



Figuratively... 🌫
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