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8trackdisco
Herf-A-Holic

a year ago

#21

Irish Foreplay: “Brace yourself, Bridget.”

BuckyB93
Herf-A-Holic

a year ago

#22

Skydiving without a parachute is a once in a lifetime experience.

My dog ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles.... I had to take him to the vet... no word yet.

Yesterday I couldn't figure out it if someone was waving at me or to a person behind me... In other news, I lost my lifeguard job.

Edited by user a year ago | Reason: Not specified

8trackdisco
Herf-A-Holic

a year ago

#23

A battle hardened group of Gurkha soldiers are standing in formation.
The commanding officer addresses them.

"You are getting into the plane, which will be flown over the landing zone and you'll jump from the plane at 1,000 feet."

The second in command steps forward. "Sir, we'd like to jump from 500 feet instead."

CO: "At 500 feet, the parachutes won't open in time."

Second: "OH! We are getting parachutes?!

BuckyB93
Herf-A-Holic

a year ago

#24

My Dad worked 12 hrs a day to put food on the table.

He was a hard worker but a slow cook

MaduroJorge
Connoisseur

a year ago

#25

I live in a really tuff neighborhood.
The local Italian restaurant serves
Broken leg of lamb!

8trackdisco
Herf-A-Holic

a year ago

#26

Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder.

Cheno
Herf-A-Holic

a year ago

#27

A bit of context first, I got a short guy friend 5'5" His dad 6'1".
Asked him how is he so short, he proceeded to say he don't know his dad his 6'1" he must get his height from someone else.

I say I think it was cause your dad tried to pull out and left the rest of your height on your mom's stomach..

Rest of gaming night was laughter.
Yes we are immature.

8trackdisco
Herf-A-Holic

a year ago

#28

Cheno wrote:

Better on her stomach vs. in

frankj1
Herf-A-Holic

a year ago

#29

Cheno wrote:

while his father was out of town, someone had it in for him

Gene363
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

a year ago

#30

while his father was out of town, someone had it in for him

frankj1 wrote:

I didn't know him, but heard he was a real stand up guy.

The escape pod: https://cigarbid.freeforums.net

deadeyedick
Herf-A-Holic

a year ago

#31

The fact that there is highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven say a lot about anticipated traffic.

MaduroJorge
Connoisseur

a year ago

#32

🤬 🤬 🤬

I'm on the Express Lane!!

Gene363
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

a year ago

#33

Child Custody Hearing:

Judge asked the woman, "Why do you feel you deserve to have custody?

Woman: "Well, I brought him into the world and I should get custody."

Judge asked the man, "Why do you feel you deserve to have custody?

Man: "Well if I put money in a Coke machine and Coke comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"

Edited by user a year ago | Reason: Not specified

The escape pod: https://cigarbid.freeforums.net

8trackdisco
Herf-A-Holic

a year ago

#34

Gene363 wrote:

ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnngggggggg!

Gene363
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

a year ago

#35

People write, "Congrats" because they can't spell congrajilashins...

The escape pod: https://cigarbid.freeforums.net

jespear
Herf-A-Holic

a year ago

#36

Two old geezers, Joe and Tony, are playing golf. Joe shanks his tee shot into the woods. The two guys go looking for it, and after about 5 minutes they find it, and there's a frog sitting right in front of it. The frog looks up at Joe and says, "Kind Sir, if you pick me up and kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful, princess and have wild sex with you anytime you want."
Joe bends over, picks up the frog, puts it in his golf bag, and zips it shut.
Tony says, JOE, Whatcha do THAT for ?"
Joe says, "At MY age, I think I'd rather have a talking frog." 🤦