A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

Thought it was cute and had to share
RJ

RknRmnd, you cheated! Thats more than 1 line! Hehe!

Here's one.

One in the bush is worth 2 in the hand!! Hehehe!!

Mag

"best way to catch a knuckleballer, is to walk back to backstop and pick it up"!

Charlie

"You can observe a lot by watching."

Yogi Berra

Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth.

Mark Twain

Mmmmmmmmmm Beeeer...

"Do ya feel lucky punk"?

Charlie

"Beer..helping ugly people have sex since 1862"

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never like anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Did you hear about the midget who walked into a bar and kissed everyone in the joint?

El,thats sounds a lot like Ricky...LOL

Stress: The uncontrollable urge to reach out and choke the sh*t out of somebody you really deserves it.Also, see RICKAMAVEN,CJbully and our newest friend jdrabinski...LOL

JJ, please cut jdrabinski a little slack.

I've had one on one comunications with him. He is a good man. He may have issues that we dont agree with, but he isnt disrespectful to anyone when making his points.

Mag

Mag, he's a commie!

With friends like THAT, who the hell needs a mother-in-law?

You don't know my mother-in-law!

DrMaddVibe, I definatly agree with your points of view politically more than his. Its not even close!

But we must be able to debate each other when our opinions differ. Thats my only point.

If we didnt allow other opinions, then we become like the countries we despise.

Mag

Mike,I'll take that into consideration for what it's worth but I'll roast whomever I choose to roast if you don't mind. :0)

JJ, was just a suggestion. I know you will roast anyone you want. Hehe!

Mag

waitresss, in a lounge, walks up to a customer and asks "would you like a cocktail?"

"yes" says the customer, "tell me one."

"It was like that when I got here."

"I didn't do it, you didn't see me do it, you can't prove I did it."

Barry