What's the last thing a Hill-billy says?

Hey, y'all, watch this!

What do Hillbillys do on Halloween?

Pumpkin.

If the toothbrush had been invented anywhere but West Virginia it would have been called teethbrush.

After attempting to sign his name with a thermometer, the proctologist proclaimed "some **** has my pen..."

"I did not have sexual relations with Ms. Lewinsky"

Horse walks into a bar, bartender says "Why the long face?"

KC

Giraffe walks into bar, bartender says "High balls are on me."

KC

A midget walks into a bar... OUCH!

Top Ten "One Liner" questions:

1. If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do you get Teflon to stick to a pan?
2. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
3.Why are there floatation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
4. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
5. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
6. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
7. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
8. Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address, you turn the radio down?
9. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
10. When an elevator is illegally overloaded with passengers, who is criminally responsible?

KC

here's another one:

why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Yes and why are they called buildings when they are already built? They should be called Builts.

Take my wife... please!

If a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its butt when it hopped.

Mmmmmmmm, floor pie.

Mmmmmm ... crumbled-up cookie things

KC

"Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems."

"The lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten!!!"

I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.

"May you be in Heaven, 30 minutes before the Devil finds out you are dead"!

Charlie

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your arm pits.

My Karma ran over my Dogma.