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So I tried the infamous “coffee whose beans were partially digested and then pooped out by some sort of wildcat” beverage this morning... Lots to say about it, so let’s take it chronologically.

The day started with my 17-month-old son waking up at 5:15 a.m. and demanding breakfast. So while he continued his months-long kitchen remodel project (he’s redoing the floors and countertops in milk-dried Cheerios – looks really good so far), I prepped for the Great Coffee Experiment.

My boy was joined by another witness in the form of our 8-year-old cat, Maggie (why not, she might be an expert, right?), as I got the water boiling (French-press is my preferred brewing method). Got out the coffee grinder (which was cleaned last night, in anticipation). Carefully opened the Zip-Loc bag o’ beans: very fragrant smelling, with a sort of a roasted barley aroma.

So far, so good.

I set the grinder for “coarse,” dropped in the beans, hit the start button – then was startled when almost instantly three things happened: 1) the grinder turned out to be MUCH, MUCH louder than I remembered, 2) the cat TORE out of the kitchen with fluffed tail, and 3) my son screamed in terror and spit up.

Here we were only a moment into this process and already there was vomiting – and a cat who had the $h!t scared out of her (or, if you prefer, the “coffee” scared out of her?).

After settling everyone down and some quick cleanup, I added 4 rounded tablespoons of the now coarsely ground coffee to the press, slowly poured 16 ounces of very hot water over the grounds, and stirred gently with a chopstick to bring up the bloom (yes, I read about how to do this on some coffee-geek website).

I allowed it to steep for about 4 minutes; then I plunged (insert cat-poop plunger joke here).

I poured the first cup into a pre-warmed mug, with the rest going into my travel thermos.

Brewed aroma: like good, strong coffee, with more of that vague barley scent, and a little bit of “earthiness.” Took a sip. Tasted like it smelled (big surprise, eh?). Took a bigger sip, slurping to the point of the Cheerio Kid giggling and taking an interest in what Crazy Daddy was doing. An unusual taste, musky/earthy/barley good coffee. Nice and strong, with just a hint of bitterness. After I sipped about a third of the mug, I experimented with adding a bit of warmed whole milk and a tablespoon of sugar. DING! Excellent.

It was at this point that my sleep-deprived wife joined us in the kitchen, took a big SNIFF of the air and asked, “What’s that awful smell?” (But what the hell does she know about gourmet cat-$h!t coffee, anyway?)

Now, I don’t feel any overwhelming need to have all my coffee beans from now on picked out of the litter box, but it was a lot of fun to experiment with. I’d recommend trying it at least once if you enjoy coffee.

And if you develop some rare form of feline dysentery, I suppose drnos and I (and possibly SteveR) will all get to know each other better as co-defendants in the lawsuit.

ScottHar

a great read! i just got mine today...i am hoping we have some for breakfast tomorrow.

very nice review........you have an excellent sense of humor.

your a funny guy... Koo Koo, let's all catch the train to Koo Koo town before it leaves

Scott--that review had me LMAO! I was picturing the scene in my head. Nice to know that litter boxes will be safe for a while. ;^}

Cheers,
Suzi

Funny stuff. I love coffee, have been drinking it for over three decades. In the Pacific NW, we seem to have an obsession with the stuff. I like many different roasts and blends, too. However, I have yet to reach the level of coffee snobbery where I feel I have to try coffee that came out of a cat's butt. It's waaaaaaay down on my To Do list, beneath even licking a toad to get high.

Humans sure are a weird lot.

I wanted to hold off until ScottHar had his go at a review. Here are my impressions:

I drink coffee every morning, usually a mixture of flavored decaf and regular beans with some milk added. That way it's half flavored, half the caffein. For this taste test, I brewed a cup of the "mongoose coffee" after lunch and drank it black.

Ground the beans (a very light color) and threw a good scoop into the french press. Added water near boiling and steeped for 4 minutes. The coffee in the cup was dark, intentionally darker than I usually brew it, to make sure I gave the coffee full chance to impress. Took a Por Larranaga lonsdale (Exclusivo Alamein) and the cup of coffee out to the porch to enjoy.

The taste reminded me of half tea, half coffee. It was qualitatively different from any coffee I had ever drunk. I guess I was expecting it to me "ultra-coffee," but I was surprised that it is something quite different.

Very smooth, the coffee had no trace of coffee bitterness. As ScottHar said, it was earthy. That is what I noticed as the tea taste. Now coffee and tea together are not such a great idea. How many people do you know who throw tea bags into their coffee?

The P.L. was fabulous. The coffee, somewhat less so.

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I brewed a second cup last Saturday. Without the baggage of expectations, I enjoyed the second cup much more. For the second cup I drank it with a little milk like I usually do. When you approach this coffee on its own terms, it really is quite good.

Kinna sounds like the Opus X of coffees. Good, but overrated & overpriced for what it is, and the marketing spin would have you believing that it would brew itself and take you to some kind of coffee-nirvana while it rubs your feet.

i showed my wife the beans and teh advert...she hid the grinder!!! seriously, i can't find it! the smell is definitely different.

i gotta say more people on this planet drink tea than coffee...you gotta think that the tea-like coffee would be popular if it were readily available and affordable.

now where is that grinder? HONEY!!!

I'd have thought that hobnobbing with the Playmates would give you cat scratch fever not some cat crap coffee, but to each his own. Gotta give you points for guts, I need a hefty daily infusion of coffee, but I don't think I could get past where this stuff came from. My mom always told me not to put stuff in my mouth that I didn't know where it had been, and with this stuff I do know where it's been.

drnos--

Your half-coffee/half-tea description is right on. I'm going to brew the rest of it this weekend and pair it up with that EXTRA special cigar you sent my way!

Thanks again for taking the initiative and getting us all to try this, uh, stuff.

Scotthar

I posted info and a 'tasters review' of this unusual coffee a number of years ago ... my take at the time was that there is a distinct 'earthiness' quality in the aroma and in the taste that I found similar to Habana cigars ...

Topped for those considering drnos' box split (which I would TOTALLY encourage, by the way).

ScottHar

12. Author: SteveS Date: 05/04/2007 09:47 AM Reply
I posted info and a 'tasters review' of this unusual coffee a number of years ago ... my take at the time was that there is a distinct 'earthiness' quality in the aroma and in the taste that I found similar to Habana cigars ...

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LOL.

So, Havanas taste like feline **** to you, right?

LMMFAO!

That's funny.

From the Cheerio inspired countertops to the coffee connoisseur spouse.

I loved it so much I read it 3 times to soak it all in. GREAT STORY!

[blank stare, raised eyebrows, mouth slightly agape]





Don't know what to say....

I have never had this coffee, but have heard it is the best coffee available. The History or Discoverey channel did a story about coffee and this was featured on one of the segments. Even if it is the absolute best coffee available I personally won't pay that much for it.

Ah, one question. No, actually kind of two questions:

Any chance they could get the cats to both decaffeinate and grind the beans too?

^ I think a cat would require a gizzard to do that.



I'd like to think that the earthiness of the coffee is the "poo effect" on the beans.

great review.