I've decided to buy a cat. And some coffee beans. I'm going to out-elite all you coffee elists.

Just you wait.

ScottHar

P.S. How long does a Hepatitis-A vaccine last? 10 years? It'll probably go 11... right?

S.O. just emailed me and asked what the hell happened to Maggie.

Ah, yes. My wife's cat... she asked to live elsewhere last fall, so I reluctantly agreed. It was that or she was going to "run away" (cough, cough).

ScottHar

I read the first 4 paragraphs and thought to myself...

Fuggin' Aristocrat!

What say ye, echo4alpha and xibbumbero?? Is this asshelmet an FA from the word go, or what?

LOL! I'm drinking coffee from a cat's ass and I'M the aristocrat?!

Guilty as charged, then!

ScottHar

So I tried the infamous “coffee whose beans were partially digested and then pooped out by some sort of wildcat” - read: very expensive coffee = fuggin aristocrat

The day started with my 17-month-old son waking up at 5:15 a.m. and demanding breakfast. Read: refers to son's age in months = rich, lets 1 yr old son demand things = 90210 zip cose = rich

So while he continued his months-long kitchen remodel project (he’s redoing the floors and countertops in milk-dried Cheerios – looks really good so far) - read: allows his year old son to redecorate stuff = rich

I prepped for the Great Coffee Experiment. - read: preparing for a coffee experiment? What kinda fuggin time does this rich **** have?!?

as I got the water boiling (French-press is my preferred brewing method) - Read: (Jesus, do I have to comment on this one??)

Got out the coffee grinder (which was cleaned last night, in anticipation) - Read - He has a person clean his coffee grinder every night!!

CLEARLY a fuggin' aristocrat. I await his sentencing by the resident fuggin' aristocrats. (echo4alpha and xibbumbero)

^
ROFL.

You're on a roll tonight Senior Chief.

LMAO! Seriously, I'd like a shot of whatever he's having (assuming it's appropriate for an aristocrat like me!).

ScottHar

Sometimes when I drink a few beers (and I'm not wicked drunk 'said in my olde boston accent') I channel my inner 8track (whom I ****' swear was a Navy Chief in a past life or ****' somethin') and just crack myself up!

(thereby crackin' you mutha ****'iz up)

Enjoy, bitches!

PS - Yo? Scottie!?... I wuz drinkin' Fat Tire. I had 55 oz at the restaurant. 32 + 23 = 55 and then I've had... ummm.... 3 12 oz beers at the hizzy... and then that last 12 oz beer and the one I'm drinking now.

How many beers have you had, sir?

****, occifer? Jups a pew. You know... that damn religious bench? 5 more than a couple, yo. Why you harrassin' me? Fark that ****, cuz. I'm call'n Jesse Jackson Holmes!

BTW, Scottie...

Check this out!

"Bold Motherf*cker, don't you limit your mind

Liberate your mind
You Motherf*cker you’re so narrow-minded, so narrow-minded
So Liberate your mind
Now Motherf*cker will you liberate your mind ,hey hey
Liberate your mind
You Motherf*cker you're so narrow-minded, so narrow-minded
So Liberate your mind
Now Motherf*cker will you liberate your mind this time

Bold Motherf*cker, don’t you limit your mind
Can’t you see that the pace
Has just fallen behind
All the hate in your heart
Will be leaving you blind
So bold Motherf*cker, don’t you limit your mind
Now bold Motherf*cker, don't you limit your mind
Can't you see that the pace
Has just fallen behind
All the hate in your heart
Will be leaving you blind
So bold Motherf*cker, don't you limit your mind this time

[Chorus]
Waiting... for your modern messiah
To take away all the hatred
That darkens the light in your eye
Still awaiting I.

Liberate your mind
You Motherf*cker you’re so narrow-minded, so narrow-minded
So Liberate your mind
Now Motherf*cker will you liberate your mind would you
Liberate your mind
You Motherf*cker you're so narrow-minded, so narrow-minded
So Liberate your mind
Now Motherf*cker will you liberate your mind this time

Bold Motherf*cker, don’t you limit your mind
Can’t you see that the pace
Has just fallen behind
All the hate in your heart
Will be leaving you blind
So bold Motherf*cker, don’t you limit your mind
Now bold Motherf*cker, don't you limit your mind
Can't you see that the pace
Has just fallen behind
All the hate in your heart
Will be leaving you blind
So bold Motherf*cker, don't you limit your mind this time

“Out of Zion shall come forth the law
And the Word of the Lord from Jerusalem
Nation shall not raise sword against nation
And they shall not learn war anymore
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken”

Waiting for your modern messiah
To take away all the hatred
That darkens the light in your eye
How long will we be

Still awaiting I.

Here is a great shot of your Cat Crap coffee just before collection time:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:SUC58185.JPG 

Ted Nugent needs to write a song about Scott. Cat **** Fever...

Ya'll can keep yer "Pool Fish" thread.

This is one of the best threads evah!

topped

ROFLMFAO OMG my sides hurt this is one of the funniest threads I've read on here in awhile ScottHar & Macs you guys are great . You two should be the new Maritn & Lewis .

Thanks for making the start of my day smiling, I'll be thinking of this all day now at work LOL .

Semper Fi Bryan(Bubba)

topped for Stinkdyr

massive thx TG!

Since I am happily allergic to cats, I will skip their poop brew for now. But fun reading!

Just what everybody needs. A nice steaming hot cup o' cat $hit.

The day started with my 17-month-old son waking up at 5:15 a.m. and demanding breakfast. So while he continued his months-long kitchen remodel project (he’s redoing the floors and countertops in milk-dried Cheerios – looks really good so far),

^lol

Only a total moron would drink cat poop coffee.

ScottHar