Not a one liner but...
A group of men live and die for their Saturday morning golf game. One
transferred to another city and they're lost without him.
A new woman joins their Club. When she hears the guys talking about
their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was
pretty good. Mind if I join you next week? "
No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot. Finally, one man
says, "Okay, but we start at 6:30 am." He figures the early tee-time
will discourage her.
The woman says this may be a problem, and asks if she can be up to 15
minutes late. They roll their eyes, but say, "Okay." She's there at 6:30
am sharp, and beats all of them with an eye-opening 2-under-par round.
She's fun and pleasant, and the guys are impressed. They congratulate
her and invite her back the next week. She smiles, and says, "I'll be
there at 6:30 or 6:45."
The next week she again shows up at 6:30 sharp. Only this time, she
plays left-handed. The three guys are incredulous as she still beats
them with an even-par round, despite playing with her off-hand.
They're totally amazed. They can't figure her out. She's very pleasant
and a gracious winner. They invite her back again, but each man harbors
a burning desire to beat her. The third week, she's 15 minutes late,
which irritates the guys. This week she plays right-handed, and narrowly
beats all three of them.
The men grumble that her late arrival is petty gamesmanship on her part.
However, she's so charming and complimentary of their strong play, they
can't hold a grudge.
This woman is a riddle no one can figure out. They have a couple of
beers in the Clubhouse, and finally, one of the men asks her, "How do
you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"
The lady blushes, and grins. "When my Dad taught me to play golf, I
learned I was ambidextrous," she replies. "I like to switch back and
forth.
"When I got married after college, I discovered my husband always sleeps
in the nude. From then on, I developed a silly habit.
Right before I leave in the morning for golf practice, I pull the covers
off him. If his Willie points to the right, I golf right-handed; if it
points to the left, I golf left-handed."
The guys think this is hysterical. Astonished at this bizarre
information, one of the guys says, "What if it's pointing straight up?"
She says, "Then, I'm fifteen minutes late."
