Well I said I'd report back yesterday……….but I just got out of jail.Here's how admitting to all those regretful thoughts went.
1.My two less than mature coworkers opened the wrong valve and flooded an air tank with wastewater,its something ever **** ing day.I told them I had thought of beating them to death with a shovel...….but I regretted that thought.Both were pissed and called the head honcho.
2.I later gathered up some samples and headed to the lab.When Lorie bent over to retrieve fresh sample bottles I told her I had thought about doing her doggie style.........but regretted it.
3.I then ran into one of our TCEQ inspectors.I told him how much I regretted thinking he was a total waste of spurm but the thought just wouldn't go away.
4.Couple hours go by and now head honcho has called and wants me in his office.He immediately wants to know why I berated my two young coworkers,what the hell I was thinking talking to our lab chick like that.......and why did we have a surprise inspection at 3:00 pm by a pissed off inspector.I told head honcho I regretted thinking he had always been a waterhead.
5.By 3:00 I had lost my job so I went home to tell wifey.Well she just happens to be friends with lab chick.I explained how much I regretted having thoughts about doing lab chick doggie style but she threw me out anyway.
6.So i went to the local watering hole and proceeded to drink too much.Everything was going fine til Charlie walked in.......but I had to tell him how much I regretted thinking his wife was a come guzzling spurm burping gutterslut.The fight was on so I got tossed out the bar.
6.On the way to a hotel I get pulled over by Officer Numbnuts.While performing field sobriety test,which I was passing,I inform Officer Numbnuts how much I regret thinking that he had always been about as useless as a one armed paper hanger with the crabs.
7.At this point I decided to keep my thoughts to myself as the Doctor put 17 stitches in my scalp.4 D-cell Maglites leave a pretty nasty scar.
8.Jail was no fun..........and even though I thought Leroy looked like he enjoyed sucking golf balls through a garden hose I kept it to myself.
9.Now I'm jobless,homeless,scarred and have DUI and Felony Assault charges pending.
What this lesson has taught me is Liam Neeson and anybody that agrees with him needs their **** ing head examined.
Edited by user
7 years ago |
Reason: Not specified