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Gene363
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

2 years ago

Speaking of dogs, I've got two dogs named Rolex and Timex.

They're watchdogs.

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Gene363
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

2 years ago

If lightening hits in an orchestra, who's more likely to get hit?

The conductor.

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Gene363
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

2 years ago

Did you hear that insurance companies are warning campers, if your tent is stolen, you won't be covered.

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Gene363
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

2 years ago

What do call a large person that lies in Louisiana?

A Jambayla!

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BuckyB93
Herf-A-Holic

2 years ago

Who built King Arthur's Round Table?

Sir Cumference.

BuckyB93
Herf-A-Holic

2 years ago

My neighborhood barber got arrested for selling drugs yesterday. I was a customer for 8 years.

I never knew he was a barber.

Edited by user 2 years ago | Reason: Not specified

Gene363
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

2 years ago

One for Palma...

Laughing too loudly is illegal in Hawaii.

You're only allowed a low ha.

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BuckyB93
Herf-A-Holic

2 years ago

I'll hitchhike on that theme.

I made a Hawaiian pizza the other day but burned it.

I should have cooked it at a low ha temperature.

Gene363
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

2 years ago

I used to merely crastinate.

But then I went pro.

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BuckyB93
Herf-A-Holic

2 years ago

My definition of multitasking is doing something until I remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Gene363
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

2 years ago

My definition of multitasking is doing something until I remember what I was supposed to be doing.

BuckyB93 wrote:

=d> =d> =d>

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BuckyB93
Herf-A-Holic

2 years ago

Not an appropriate dad joke but I found it funny.

A good kick in the balls will clear up your gender confusion.

Gene363
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

2 years ago

Do you know why dogs are not allowed in bars.

Because they can't control their lickers.

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delta1
Herf-A-Holic

2 years ago

The hard of hearing executive had his pants down around his knees when the new secretary reported for work on her first day.

When she screamed at him, he said, "I thought you said you excelled at dicktastin"

Edited by user 2 years ago | Reason: Not specified

8trackdisco
Herf-A-Holic

2 years ago

The hard of hearing executive had his pants down around his knees when the new secretary reported for work on her first day.

When she screamed at him, he said, "I thought you said you excelled at dicktastin"

delta1 wrote:

8-[

BuckyB93
Herf-A-Holic

2 years ago

I asked my wife what she would do if I won the lottery.

She said "I'd take half of the winnings and leave you"

I won $20 on a scratch ticket. I gave her $10 told told her I'd help her pack up her stuff.

Edited by user 2 years ago | Reason: Not specified

BuckyB93
Herf-A-Holic

2 years ago

My Son was a victim of identity theft.

I looked at the credit card bills and the thief doesn't spend as much as he does so I didn't report it.

Edited by user 2 years ago | Reason: Not specified

Gene363
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

2 years ago

If lightening strikes an orchestra, who get hit first?

The conductor.

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Gene363
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

2 years ago

Someone just called my cellphone.

They sneezed, coughed, and hung up.

I hate cold calls.

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Stogie1020
Herf-A-Holic

2 years ago

Knock knock

Who's there?

I smell like map.

...

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