Joined: 04-15-2004 Posts: 12,251
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Some Thursday Funnies. A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them.. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.' I was dating this hottie MILF, but everytime she ate rice, smelt rice, hell even just around any rice starch, Her throat would close up, she would need a steroid puffer. Then we went to an Indian buffet and she just dropped to the floor convulsing and needed an ambulance. She was a Basmatic.Little Johnny is sitting in the back of the anatomy class. The teacher is pointing at a map of the body and telling the kids about what each part of the body does. She points at the **** on the diagram and says, “This is the ****. Every boy has one P Nuss and it is for–“ “Hey, teacher,” Little Johnny interrupts, “that’s not right. My daddy has two P Nusses.” The teacher shakes her head in confusion and says, “Two P Nusses? What do you mean? That’s impossible!” Little Johnny replies,
“No, it’s not! I’ve seen both of them. He has a little one for when he’s going pee-pee and a big one when he’s brushing Mommy’s teeth!”A woman went to a dentist to have a tooth pulled and there was instant electricity between them, and they made love right there in his office. She came back week after week after week and they made love over and over and over again. Until one day, he told her they'd have to end the affair, as beautiful as it was, because she only had one tooth left.Have a good one.
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