Mr. Jones, #88 asks,
'Dear Chief, neighbor mows lawn at 7 am. I want sleep to 10 am. What do?'
Mr. Jones, Chief spend countless hours drinking beer and pondering the many ways the Paleface has of making unnecessary work for self.
The Lawn, especially The GREEN Lawn, is just one of those many imponderable 'make-more-work-for-self' Paleface concepts that truly befuddles Chief.
The brain aches just thinking about it. Ouch.
Chief often ask self, why manicured Green Lawn is so much more beautiful and acceptable than, say, Chief's old tire and 50 gallon drum collection? Chief spend heap hours arranging drums so they look just so. Decorate tastefully with old tires, truck engines, tractor parts and other good stuff. But Paleface neighbors not like at all, get mad when Chief have family get-together, get drunk, beat on drums, howl at Great Spirit, and dance around bonfire of burning tires.
Sigh.
Chief conclude that one man's treasure is another man's trash.
But the above does not help answer your question, Mr. Jones--heap apologies for letting brain wander!
Chief agrees that 7 am is too early to begin weekly lawn scalp. 9 am is much more considerate, in Chief's view. Try the following:
1) Make anonymous phone call (use pay phone unless you can block caller ID from home phone). Be polite but firm, and don't take time to argue. Say 'Please wait until 9 to mow. Thank you.', and hang up.
2) If #1 not work, try again, but call about 3:30 am and repeat message politely.
3) If #2 not work, go record sound of your lawnmower running. Call neighbor several times between midnight and dawn, each time play recording of lawnmower into phone mouthpiece.
4) Repeat #3 as necessary until neighbor is in compliance or is forced to turn off phone at night.
5) If above not work, go to hardware store and purchase container of good defoliant. Chief recommends Roundup, in concentrate. Mix at 2x recommended ratio (that would be 9 oz. to one gal. water) in Hudson sprayer. Go visit neighbors lawn in dark of night and write with sprayer on lawn '7 am too early' in letters about 2' tall. Then wait one week, and see what develops...
6) If #5 not solve problem, then you must take drastic measures. Allow some time to pass, and suffer early mowing in silence (this is the Indian Way). When neighbor least expect it, sneak back over at night and spray balance of Roundup over entire lawn.
This should solve problem.
